Dave Barry\'s Complete Guide To Guys

Word Count: 1440

Wait, are you telling me that Dave Barry\'s Complete Guide to Guys addresses women\'s issues? If "women\'s issues" include understanding why guys spit, scratch themselves, and give each other noogies, well then this book certainly addresses them!
As for addressing the whole bit about a patriarchal world history, the subjugation of women, and accused responsibility for the Fall of Man, well, you might as well forget it.
Dave Barry might not make you feel better about the stature of women in today\'s world or the future of the human species, but hopefully you can say this: you\'re not a guy.
Dave Barry\'s book reminds me a lot of an episode of Seinfield: it\'s all about nothing. It tells the reader what guys are thinking(nothing) and what their "deal" is(nothing). While it does pretty much, well, nothing to help understand women or help women understand, the one thing it does do is hold true to the manufacturer\'s guarantee: you WILL laugh. You will not only laugh, but you will laugh hard. You will laugh hysterically, obnoxiously hard. You will want to share Dave Barry\'s insight on the male species with everyone you know and every stranger you meet, particularly so if they are women.
Barry\'s book speaks little about the real reasons as to why males do the things they do and more about the fact that they are just scumbags and idiots. According to Barry, people "make being male sound like a very important activity, as opposed to what it primarily consists of, namely, possessing a set of minor and frequently unreliable organs"(xi). You will become convinced that the title should not be "Complete Guide to Guys," but "More Reasons Why Women Are The Better Sex." In fact, Barry himself seems to support the latter idea through his discussion of "the Punch Reflex," "the Noogie Gene," scientific reasons as to why guys act like jerks, the hidden truth of the Space Shuttle program, and standards. Yes, guys are just mindless idiots who like things that go, "Brrrrrrmmmmmmmmm!" I suppose he would know, though: he is a guy.
It is a well-known fact that our world history is dominated by a tyrannical patriarchy in which the majority of women have been forgotten. Somehow, according to Barry, it is the men who have been forgotten. "Guys have played an important role in history, but this role has not been given the attention it deserves, because nobody wrote it down"(9). Yet, in Barry\'s fifteen-page chapter recounting the entire history of the world, the male role in the subjugation, victimization, and abuse of women was entirely forgotten. In truth, women- period- were forgotten. What Barry did tell us, however, were actually little known facts about women in history. Prehistoric women actually took care of the children and gathered roots, only to throw them away later(the roots, that is). Women didn\'t exist in Ancient Egypt. Women in the Middle Ages only complained that their kids kept getting the Plague. The only women in the Renaissance were statues. God only knows what happened with the women during the Protestant Reformation; the guys were out fishing when that happened. The only participation women had in the Age of Exploration was telling their husbands that they should stop and ask for directions, as well as almost being victims of head-on collisions with Christopher Columbus. Women in colonial America were actually men dressed up as French milkmaids who threw cows into the Boston Harbor. Women disappeared, again, during the Industrial Revolution. The only woman in the Modern Era- or, at least, Dave Barry\'s Modern Era- was Sherryl Gingrich, a reader who sent him a newspaper article about family men in their forties who decided to hurl themselves off a ski-jump in a canoe. Yes, I do believe Dave Barry is right: it is the men who have been forgotten in history. In all seriousness, while Barry is intending to only to make a mockery of men\'s history, he is also making a mockery of women\'s history by disregarding her very presence. Barry\'s recounting of history is reflective of the world today, as well as history itself. Barry forgot women in his telling of history, just as so many actual history books have. He deals with the issue