My life
I was born april 29 1999 my moms name is Angela Toman my fathers name is Willliam Kennedy .I have always lived with my mom because of the drug issues and mental status of my dad .I always wanted a relationship with my dad but I never understood why we were never close. I finnaly started realizing as I got older why we were not close . i was 5 when my dad tried to kill himself in front of me ,I never understood why he did that my mom said as I got older baby daddy is sick and he needs help . i was eight when my mom told me she should of gave me up for adoption like she wanted to . i felt like that she didn't love me ,I felt so useless ,I was 12 when I seen my mom cut her wrist and wrap a cord around her neck that was something I told my self I would never do.when I was 13 that midnight I just turned 14 I was sexually assaulted by one of my sisters friends I didn't know what to do I felt like I lost everything in side of me I felt numb ,I was with 2 other of my friends they didn't do anything to stop it ,I watched my other friend get raped like I did I tried to run and do something but I was so scared I didn't .that next morning I waited to go home my gram knew something was wrong I didn't tell her though I was so scared to say anything me and my one friend went out with her gram for a liitle to get our minds off of what happened later that evening we told my mom what had happened .she called the cops and we had to go down and a interview and say what had happened ,the cops was very rude he said it was all my fault ,I never felt so useless I never cried so hard in my life .the whole thing was dropped cause the cop was payed off so he got away with what he did . i will never be able to have a normal birthday ive been told to let it go but its so hard for me to move past cause its every yr I think about what happened . i was 15 when I got locked up I was away from home for 2 yrs . i was doing good when I first came home then everything went down hill ,I started smoking weed and I tried other things and I started cutting my self so I didn't have to feel that pain anymore . i started drinking with friends not telling my mom where I was and one night I wish I would of told her where I was because I was sexually assaulted again by the same person I tried everything to stop it .the only person that knows is my bestfriend I coudlnt bare to say anything to anyone cause I felt like it was my fault , like the first time , my depression kicked in really bad after that I started feeling like there was not point to live . i went into the hospital a couples times for trying to kill my self after that I felt a little better after that ,I started talking to my dad again we wernt really that close but I felt like we where getting a better relationship. I always wanted a father daughter relationship I know we can never have that until he gets better and that's all I want from him is for him to get his life back on track and be able to . i never want to see my dad like that again it broke my heart seeing my dad all doped out and not paying attention to his kids , im now 17 and I still don't have the best relationship with my dad.i got kicked out of my grams house and now me and my mom don't have the best relationship anymore I love my mom to death I would